Snacks and Naps

A word on the state of games

Fri, 07 Jul 2006 19:02:20 GMT

preface:
I am only 27 and I played FrontLine in the arcade. Enough said.

Game enthusiasts of my type are a dying breed. They've either suffered the painful deaths of their gaming lives, or have transmutated into some sort of new hideous beast. Not to say that change is bad, rather on the contrary, but damn...

Final Fantasy 7
The second coming. The miracle savior panacea cure-all. I have issues with this title, and its worshippers. I am not in any way a detractor. I think FF7 is a solid, thoroughly entertaining game. But damn...
Scads of people claim this to be the greatest RPG ever. I have only one thing to say regarding this subject. This was only your first RPG ever.

RPGs had weighty storylines and innovation long before FF7. This leads me to believe that gamers were drawn to:

Snazzy new graphics.

"Cool(shudder) factor."

Angst. (for goodness sake.)

I left the series after 7. I'm sure the subsequent games have been good. Hell, I know they have to be great to captivate the world the way they have. But wait. 50 cent is the world's most successful rapper of all time. So it only follows that his music must be great, right? Or could he possibly be the world's most savvy gangster-turned-entrepreneur? You be the judge, I say.

Devil May Cry

A game where the entire objective is to be as "cool" as possible. (Expletives deleted.)

I could go on for days, and will, in my private moments. But damn. What kind of world do we live in when people, including grown men and women, rant and rave with seething anger over the realism of their video game elves? It cannot possibly be meant that a person who has sought out the ability to role-play as an elf has limits to the cartoonish depiction of said elf. I hope everyone can hear me. Elves are not real. (Wind Waker, you're an okay guy in my book.)

On the PS3

Get the *what* outta here! 600 dollars? When something costs the same as rent, it had better be making me some *gosh darn* money. I will beat the *sheesh* out of it with a hanger, that's my word! Get your *ashy* on the *mother-hugging* street! I don't care if you're not like that! Work, *...* WORK!

Better now.

Executives don't seem to be learning. Proprietary formats? Har. Betamax? Weren't UMD movies already yanked from Wal-Mart? Hah, when Wallace refuses to ply your wares, you can count yourself out. I'm not sure if Microsoft's HD-DVD format will play in a normal DVD player, but if they do, the battle is already over. If not, the battle won't even begin. Bigwigs must not have heard that not all of us have a DVD player yet! And what's with increased storage capacity as a selling point for the casual consumer? Higher resolution in video and audio? Keep your WEGA TV and 5.1 surround system and you won't be able to experience one bloody drop more resolution. Yeah, that's right, get ready to drop thousands on a new entertainment system just to use your Blu-Ray. The only market out for increased storage capacity are the computer users, who will just buy a new optical drive without the rest of the hassle. This *sheesh* is dumb.

On the Nintendo Wii

Nintendo really lost me with the N64. I consider it (not the Saturn, you silly geese) to be the absolute worst viable console in history. Jaguar don't count, y'all. Think about it. Count the really good games in your head right now. It doesn't take both hands, does it? But being on the bottom seems to have knocked some sense into them. A console debuting at 200 bucks? Nice. Cheap game production costs? That's good too. A commitment to innovation and (hopefully) quality over new graphics engines, texture/mip/bump mapping? Starting to look sexy.

I have a question for those aged 20 and up. Did you ever go to an arcade and see one of those cabinets that you sit down at? Ms. Pac Man and Galaga were often seen in such a state. But did you ever see or play a Nintendo one? You know, the kind with multiple games on it? Tennis, Baseball, Super Mario Bros, etc. I'm not a sports nut, but I genuinely enjoyed those. They were accessible, quick, and fun. Just reflexes and timing, everybody could play them. It seems like Nintendo is going in that direction again. Good timing! We as the game generation remember these things. We as this generation now have waaaay too much to do in the course of a day to get home and memorize 50 hit combos for mediocre games. Some of us have children. What better way to play a game as a child than to use the motor skills you've just worked so hard to develop? This is my most anticipated console since the Dreamcast.

Of course, I agree with the direction Microsoft and Sony are going in, generally. New advances have to happen, and there is a definite market for ridiculously convoluted games. Some of these sure to happen games I know I'll hope to play. Without a doubt. But for those of us who hope to accomplish more in a day than learning a new moves set, the Wii seems almost perfect. Even for a crusty oldster like myself, an admitted member of a dying breed, Nintendo has the sultry curves to make me feel young again.

(P.S. A Star Wars lightsaber fighting game that utilizes the in-control speaker and rumble? OMG help me I'm there kyaaaa)

I am fond of pics of jumping kicks

Fri, 30 Jun 2006 17:58:17 GMT

Since I enjoy them so much, I thought I'd throw my efforts in. I took this one for a design project that is yet to be completed. Jumping kicks look good on us brothers, it's all in the lips, i say. Har

props to jim kelly, ron van cleef, and the countless "soul karate" cats

Dumb pictures make my days better.

Artful Dodging? Dodgy Art?

Wed, 28 Jun 2006 20:50:28 GMT

Art has meant #2 pencil and notebook paper my whole life, until recently. Now that I've procured electronicas I've got to try to get down. I've been making a part-time income with it lately, so now I have an excuse to exhaust my spare time on it. Who is the master? I am.(I just hope this keeps up.)

Top 5 underappreciated FIGHTING GAMES of all times!

Wed, 28 Jun 2006 20:32:01 GMT

Top 5 underappreciated FIGHTING GAMES of all times!

Videogaming is rife with genres, from role-playing to rhythm, with spanking new ones being created by each passing E3. But let's be frank. We all know what gets the blood boiling. We all know what gets the *ish* talked. Why did he throw that controller? He just got his ass handed to him in a Fighting Game. Following are some of the illest ever made. Respect yourself, son, and come and give them love.

#1 KARATE CHAMP. 1984 Data East

Don't lie to yourself. Every time you watch Bloodsport (which you know you do) you hardly blink as Van Damme karates "Jackson" like a champ. Riding the resurgent wave of martial arts mania in the early 80's, Karate Champ put you in the gi of an empty hand master.
There were two flavors of the game, one found you as a new student at a dojo, the other saw your crazy ass having regulated karate matches in grimy alleys. Nice.
The control schematic was revolutionary for the time, the game being controlled via two joysticks. It was remarkably intuitive, and quite responsive. I remember myself as a 6 year old watching the big kids performing jumping kicks, enthralled by the sweet karate action. When my turn to play finally came, it only took one round to realize the simplicity of left stick up to jump, right stick right to kick. I jump kicked the *ish* out of all comers.
What really sets this game apart is the way it approaches action. There were no fireballs or special moves, only timing, distance, feinting, and proper technique placement. You had to use the right move at the right time to be effective. You had to control space. You had to use trickery to bait your opponent, to put him where you wanted him, to put him in the way of a sweet jump kick.

Number 1 sweetest move: Sweet Ass Jump Kick

Number 2 sweetest move: Spinning Hook Kick

Game #2 coming soon! OMG what could it be?